Velvet Elvis: Bad Art
How Great Thou Art

She purchased the velvet art with
its sweeping fluorescent strokes
and hung it on her living room wall.

The glow-in-the-dark Jesus and Elvis
becomes a cherished heirloom.

Standing in line for the next
taping of Antiques Roadshow,
her great grandson waits anxiously
for its valuation.

“Do you have the original frame and black light?
That could increase its value significantly.”

“No, what’s a black light?” the grandson asks.

“Notice the organic angularity and bold lines;
they would pop with a black light. The black light
is the crowning achievement in this school and
represents all that is artistically tasteful,
supremely crafted, and original.”

“Is it still worth anything?”
the grandson asks, tears welling up.

“Sadly no, but for you He is priceless.”

Copyright 2013,  Bruce Sydow

Bruce Sydow did his postgraduate work in creative writing at The Evergreen State College and holds a master’s degree from the University of Washington in Seattle. He has taught at Chapman University and Saint Martin’s University, among other colleges, was elected Professor of the Year twice, and holds the Excellence in Teaching Award.

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