Suicidal Ideation

So what if
it rains on both the just and the unjust.

All I have to say about the weather is,
I've  had it with any weather, period, rain or shine.
Just rip me out of the whole earth’s atmosphere, its thick
dumb persecutory miles upon miles relentlessly
crowding in on me,
buffeting and suffocating me in its endlessly
shifting whims.

So what if those whims are impartial.

So what if the vacuum of space
instantly freeze-dries me to absolute zero,
at the very moment I am shorn free of all
cycle and flux.

There’s no other way
to attain
a constant temperature and humidity.

I
compulsively
stubbornly repeat:

No
Other
Way.

So what if....
 

Copyright 1994, Mary Krane Derr
 

Mary Krane Derr's work has appeared recently in such magazines as Pudding,
Lilliput Review, Sacred Journey, Poet, and Journal of Poetry Therapy. "Suicidal Ideation" originally appeared in Psychopoetica.